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Best Bikini Tan Lines

This whole thing started innocently enough, they wanted to have a contest to see who could get the tannest over a period of one month. Neither of them has ever had any success tanning naturally so you can guess who got a spray tan the day before the contest ended? He may have won the contest but he paid a high price. Being perpetually pale is an obvious loss, but having photographic proof of your friend with bikini tan lines more than makes up for that. Not only that, but I'm fairly confident wearing a bikini bottom fully exposed is just asking for an atomic wedgie. I hope his friend has the common courtesy and upper body strength to give it to him.

This whole thing started innocently enough, they wanted to have a contest to see who could get the tannest over a period of one month. Neither of them has ever had any success tanning naturally so you can guess who got a spray tan the day before the contest ended? He may have won the contest but he paid a high price. Being perpetually pale is an obvious loss, but having photographic proof of your friend with bikini tan lines more than makes up for that. Not only that, but I'm fairly confident wearing a bikini bottom fully exposed is just asking for an atomic wedgie. I hope his friend has the common courtesy and upper body strength to give it to him.


Similar tanners:
If you go in to get a spray tan without any knowledge of what you're doing, you are set up for a spray tan fail. She walked in after seeing one of those commercials for the tanning salon on TV expecting to walk out looking like she had the tan of a B-list celebrity but instead she walked out with splotches that show nothing but her inexperience. I'm not suggesting that I could do any better, but even I know to stay away from something you don't understand, which is why I've never used a toaster. Bread goes in and toast comes out, that's too complicated for my simple brain. Add in the fact that toasters kill over 20 people a year, they're a menace to society. I don't know about you but I don't want to risk getting a bad spray tan, or killed by a toaster. My fragile self-esteem couldn't take the laughing at my tan or newspaper readers laughing about my tragic but hilarious death by toaster.
Spray Tan Fail
Now I've seen a pale neck that results when a person has too much neck fat so it doesn't get sun, but I've never seen the extra tan neck. I don't know, maybe you get it from laying in the sun on your stomach with your head back. It doesn't seem like it would even get that much sun, that honor goes to the back of the neck. Everyone I know always sunscreens up the back of their necks because it's probably the number one place to receive a sunburn. I don't know anybody who sunscreens the front of their neck. That would be the biggest waste of sunscreen ever, except for this chick. I know she's pretty tan everywhere else but she needs to get on that because her neck is distractingly tan.
What's Up With Her Neck?
Sure you can get a little tan on your week long retirement preparation vacation to Florida, but if you really want to blend in with the retired crowd you're going to need to do better than that. Once you've stopped clocking in at work and started your 9-5 job of beach and golf you'll blend in, but until then good luck fooling the people collecting social security. Horizontal stripes, what is this the 90's? If you're going to fit in where the average age is dead you need to dig further back in your closet than that. With game like that you might as well pack up your hard candies, reroute your prescriptions, and FedEx your knitting needles back to wherever you came from. No they don't allow knitting needles on planes, what is this the 60's?
Getting Tan on Vacation
The 2 keys to looking tan are very simple. 1. Actually be really tan and 2. Make sure everyone around you is pale. Guess which one this woman chose. Placed next to Snookie or some other people on this site her tan is average but when compared to those 4 albinos she's looking tan. Lesson: If you don't tan well you can get 4 pale friends to walk around with you and make you look tan by comparison.
She has pale friends
2 Comments on this post
miss russian barbie2012-09-06

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol

Dalisson2013-06-23

Yes, because Bravissimo actlaluy comes in CUP sizes. Oh, but don't think an H cup in a tankini will work. I tried that last year and it didn't I was so sad. Oh I meant to tell you the other day make sure you're checking BraStop because they get a lot of bra's from overseas and sell for much cheaper. I think like $30 a bra. The way I go through them I need a deal. Bravissimo kills me so I only order direct from them if I'm desperate or there's a sell.

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