Pale Boobs and Shiny Faces

I was going to use this picture because their shiny faces look funny, but I'm going to go against everything I believe in and recommend that the girl on the left use some fake tanner on her pale boobs. She probably doesn't wear exposing clothes that often, unlike that slut on the right, so she could use some tanning lotion to even out her color. Gasp, I can't believe that I just told someone to get a partial fake tan, what is this world coming to. Also, is that a lit cigarette between the right chick's boobs?

Similar tanners:

Those two girls don't look all that happy that they are forced to hang out with that extremely tan guy. I have to give him credit for how even his tan is, but I don't think it's helping with those girls. That one girl looks almost scared of his tan.

They Don't Look Too Thrilled

Thanks for the picture but I don't think she's normally that orange, it's the lighting. Now I don't know for sure it's the lighting, but I have to believe it is. Why do I have to believe? Because the Disney princess is about the same color as she is, and that would never happen. I've watched the entire collection of Disney movies and I don't remember anyone being orange. Granted I haven't seen the pre-production footage from their latest flick, Sleeping Guido. I don't really need to see it to know it'll bomb. Nobody wants to show their kids a movie about a girl that gets wasted drinking Jager bombs and is later awoken by her prince to take plan b. That's why it's the lighting, because Disney would never make that movie.

We Know It's the Lighting

Thanks for the cray post, it looks like that one chick is going to either rip the others head off or snap her neck like Rambo. It's weird that on one side she's got a girl wanting to kill her and on the other she's being gently kissed on the cheek, reminds me of War and Peace. Of course I haven't read the book because it doesn't even have pictures, but I am an expert at judging books by their cover so I know it's pretty much like this photo. It probably ends on a massive cliff hanger, just like this photo. Did she get her neck snapped, does she survive, will they ever be together, who is that guy in the background? It's questions like these that will make you read the second post in this series. I'm thinking of milking this into a seven parter like Harry Potter, by the end I'll be J.K. Rolling in dough.

These Chicks are Crazy

I hate it when you can't really tell if someone's too tan or not because you don't have a pale person available to compare them to. In this case I guess we'll just have to make due with that girls white dress as our standard. The problem is that her dress it too white so all the readings are coming in as too tan. Nobody's that pale in real life, we need a more realistic pale standard to calibrate the Tan-O-Meter. Even if we assume the girl on the left comes in at a reasonable 1.5 that still puts the other girls well above 3, that doesn't seem right. For clarification a reading of 1 is the average tan, 0 is pure white, and every integer above 1 is another multiple of the average tan. You really want to stay somewhere between 1 and 2. Over that you wind up here, and under 0.5 you're gonna be hounded by Twilight fans.

They're All Tan

Pale Boobs and Shiny Faces

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